The Hitchhiker's Guide to the World

Welcome to today's lecture titled "What to Do to Survive a Trip to a Developing Country Without Getting Murdered or Indefinitely Detained."

Let me set the record straight on a topic that has been causing me some distress. You know those news stories about American kids traveling abroad who get killed and the foreign government does nothing about it? Or about those people who are stuck in international prisons for months with no hope of parole? The reason that we hear about these things is because they are so incredibly rare that the media jumps all over it and plasters the dead kid's face all over the news.

The truth is, this kind of radical thing almost never happens. People travel from country to country all the time without any difficulty. 3 percent of the world's population are migrants, which means that they are living in a country other than their country of birth. That's over 200 million people. In the past ten years, how many people have you heard of, on the news or otherwise, that had serious, life-altering problems as a result of international travel? Ten? Twenty? Out of 200 million. The only reason that it seems so common is that we hear about it from the media. International travel is much safer than most people are led to believe.

Having said that, you can't just be an idiot when visiting a foreign country. There are some precautions that need to be taken to ensure that you reach your destination safely, and even more things to do to keep you safe once you have reached it. Here is a list of things I think are necessary to complete before travel.

1. Get a passport. 'Nuff said.

2. If you're staying for an extended period of time, apply for a tourist visa, and make sure to take care of these two things several months in advance.

3. The U.S. Department of State website has up-to-date travel information, in case there is civil unrest, bad weather, or other conditions that may cause unfavorable travel.

4. Get immunized. Don't turn yourself into a pincushion, though. Again, you can check the Department of State for more information about what to get. Here's what immunizations I needed for India: tetanus, polio, MMR (measles, mumps, rubella), hepatitis A and B, and typhoid. Malaria is also endemic to many developing countries, and there's no vaccination, but there is a series of drugs you can take immediately before departure that should protect you. Fortunately, Himachal Pradesh is one of the only states in India that does not have it, because of the altitude.

5. Buy a plane ticket. Duh.

Once you're at your destination, it's important to stay safe. Fortunately, it's pretty easy. Just don't be stupid. I'm not trying to be mean or rude, but as long as you keep your head about you and think about your situation, you'll be a-OK. This next list is some tips for getting the most out of your experience without getting hurt. Granted, a lot of this is my opinion. I'm not an expert in international travel, and a lot of this depend on your destination, so I welcome any comments or revisions.

6. Don't stand out. There's a lot of ways too do this. The problem is that most Americans are pigmentally challenged and stick out like a supermodel at Comic-Con. But even if you're look the same as the people around you, loud clothing and obnoxious behavior will probably draw unwanted attention to you more than your accent and your skin color. Try to wear clothing with limited logos or writing. If you see somebody with lots of writing on their shirt, you're going to read it, and you're likely going to make some assumptions about that person based on their shirt. Remember, friend don't let friends wear dumb t-shirts. And when in doubt, dress as the Romans do.

7. Carry cash. Not too much, but don't walk around broke. Local currency is a must, but some good ol' American moolah wouldn't be a bad idea either. There are a lot of small problems in the world that can be quickly fixed by Abraham, Jackson, or Benjamin.

8. Pack a lunch. Now, I'm all for trying local cuisine, especially if it looks weird and I've never eaten it before. However, when you're stuck on a bus for eight hours, you'll be glad you threw that apple and granola bar into your backpack before you left. Plus, there's always the dreaded traveler's diarrhea. Food that has live bugs on it just before you ate it usually isn't a good idea.

Cooked insects are another story altogether.

As a side note, if you're not in Canada, Europe, Russia, or Japan, buy your water don't drink from the tap.

9. Learn the language. If you're fluent, great. If you missed that Malay course in college, don't worry. From my experience, even just learning "hello" and "thank you" in the local tongue goes a long way towards improving other people's opinions of you. I once knew a guy who spent four months in Budapest before he learned the word for "street." Please, please, please don't be that guy.

10. Stop worrying! I know the world can be a scary place, but just because K2 keeps killing climbers doesn't mean people stop trying to get that great view from the top. Just get out there and see the world for yourself. You won't regret it.