A Day in Amritsar, and Bollywood Déjà Vu

That’s true, it was only one day. I know I was gone for three days, but Saturday and Monday consisted entirely of traveling on a hot, crowded, smelly, dirty and noisy bus. Two buses, actually. Traveling in India is definitely not one of my favorite things to do. In the beginning, when I first arrived, it was nice to look out the window and see something completely different, but it has since become commonplace, and I was confined to a twice-read book and sparse conversation with Kulwinder Paul, my traveling companion, to keep me company. Could have been better. Could have been worse, much worse, but also could have been better.

At least the food was pretty good. Actually, the best thing I ate all weekend was in Pathankot on Saturday, where we changed buses and had lunch. Shahi paneer was a fantastic dish consisting of a lot of paneer in a slightly sweet, creamy, cinnamon-and-cumin sauce, eaten with some of the best naan I have had in India so far. There were definitely worse ways that this trip could have started. Seriously, this one dish was one of the highlights of my entire time in India. It was that good.

Arriving in Amritsar, I was confronted with something that I have not experienced in quite some time: city life. It hits you in the face like a ton of bricks, and in India, it seems to come out of nowhere. One moment, the bus was surrounded by empty fields (the wheat harvest had been wrapping up these past couple of weeks), and the next, our bus was snaking and sneaking through an overwhelming traffic jam of cars, rickshaws, fruit carts and everything-wallahs. I’ve been in several different big cities on several continents, and there are a few things in which they all partake, at least to some extent: noise, filth, excitement, speed, beggars, business, money… the list goes on. India, of course, has its little quirks that separate it from others. For example, within five minutes of entering the city, I saw my first elephant since Jaipur. Three seconds later, I saw an elephant take a child-sized dump on the middle of the street for the first time since Jaipur. Gotta love it!

It made me think for a second about what kind of person I am. All my life, I grew up in the sociocultural middle ground of urban development: the quintessential suburbs. I knew of neither rural or city life, yet from talking to people, I learned that in general, there are two kinds of people: city rats and country folk (yes, I just used the word “folk;” get off my back). I never really knew which kind I was, but thanks to my international experiences in the past couple of years, I can now safely say that I am definitely a city guy. I’m not sure why, I just feel right when I’m in one. Even in Amritsar, which didn’t resemble any other big city that I have ever experienced before, at least on the surface, I liked it a lot. It felt right. Don’t get me wrong, I like Palampur, I just prefer cities. I now know that about myself. But in the end, who knows where I will really end up.

Back to Amritsar. My one day in the city started with a quick breakfast at the hostel that consisted of my first real American breakfast in quite some time: corn flakes! Hell yes! I also discovered on that day that Paul is a great traveling companion for me. He wanted to do the things that I wanted to do: walk around aimlessly without any sense of direction, just looking at stuff. He also likes food as much as I do, and I was so happy when he told me that we have to drink lassi, a chilled sweet yoghurt beverage, at least twice so that we can compare. Awesome! I also welcomed as many cold drinks as I could take, as it was quite a hot day. Amritsar is located in the arid plains of North India, not in the mountains like Palampur. Fortunately, the 40 degree Celsius day was a very dry one, and I grew up in Michigan where a hot day is simultaneously so humid that you start to sweat before you even feel hot. After that, Amritsar was easily tolerable.

We spent about an hour at the Golden Temple, which I described in my last post as the center of the Sikh religion. It was a very large marble complex that surrounded a large man-made pool, which then surrounded the Golden Temple itself. Paul and I went in the actual temple, as there was at least a 5-hour wait to get in, due to the massive number of pilgrims who came to worship. In fact, I looked around and determined quite quickly that I was definitely the only white person in sight. Granted, I know it’s not the most well-known Indian monument, but our hostel sheltered at least a dozen Westerners, so I figured that I would at least see a few. Paul and I tried to relax with our feet in the pool, but it was made quite clear to use that it was for religious cleansing only. A guard came by before we had spent ten second in the pool, telling us to get out. Whoops. I’ll be more mindful next time I visit a temple.

And that’s pretty much all there was to it. There’s not much else to see in the city besides the Golden Temple. We walked around a lot, had a decent lunch of food with which I was already familiar, and tried kulfi, a sort of hard ice cream that I wasn’t too fond of. It was a nice day, just not breathtaking. By early evening, we were both completely wiped out and headed back to the hostel to chill out, have some tea and snacks, and kill some brain cells with televised programming. It turned out to be the most interesting part of the day.

Paul was watching a Bollywood flick that was mostly in Hindi while I read a book. I was interested, so I asked what the movie, Partners, was about. He said that it was about a cool guy, played by Salmaan Khan, who is really knowledgeable about women and how he helps a not-so-cool guy hook up with a famous chick, played by the gorgeous Katrina Kaif. Salmaan gives this chubby, socially awkward nerd advice on how to make a good impression with Katrina, but it turns out that Salmaan seems to be losing his mojo with a girl that he is pursing. This girl is a reporter trying to write a story about this “date doctor” in the city, but she doesn’t know that it’s Salmaan.

Hmmm, this sounds familiar…

I looked up from my book for a few scenes, and one was shockingly familiar. I knew it. I knew exactly what was going to happen. The fat guy would try to kiss the girl, but lose the courage and walk off. Then he would stop, turn around, throw his inhaler to the ground, and run back up. But he wouldn’t kiss her. He would just pucker up and wait for Katrina to kiss him back. Then I realized that this was Hitch. It was in Hindi, and it had different actors and a slightly modified storyline, but it was definite Hitch. It was hilarious. Not only did Bollywood rip an idea directly from a popular Hollywood movie, but they didn’t even change the blocking or the script. It was, scene-by-scene and frame-for-frame, the same move that I saw in the states several years ago. Is Bollywood really that unoriginal?

Paul thought it was amusing at first when I narrated the movements and actions that were about to happen in a Hindi movie that I have “never” seen before, but I think he got annoyed when I kept doing it with every scene. I know, I know, I watch too many movies. I’m okay with that.