Kayakalp or Bust

I know that when I first started this blog, I wrote that I will be doing an internship at Kayaklap, a naturopathic health clinic and yoga center. I know that I haven’t gotten there yet. Stuff just keeps getting in the way. It has been like that movie Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, where in the beginning of the movie they set out to get some hamburgers and continuously get sidetracked on the way by cheetahs and Neil Patrick Harris. At the end, they’re better for it, because the journey is more important than the destination. At least it was in their case, and I can definitely say the same for mine. I love what I’ve done so far, and I’m glad that I’m not working at Kayakalp instead. That’s because I finally visited it yesterday, and I know now that it wouldn’t have been the right place for me.

Mrs. Singh was kind enough to give me the introduction to a doctor at Kayakalp, Dr. Varsha Jain, who agreed to let me come in and ask some questions. Armed with my trusty notebook, the two of us set off on a journey to find out what’s so special about this place that has people coming in from all over the world to do yoga and get massages. Upon arriving, I was at first struck by the modernity of the complex. Being a first-class spa, the campus was decked out with post-modern architecture and pristinely-kept gardens that made me feel like I had left India. Even most of the people walking around were wearing Western clothing instead of Indian dress.

We got to Dr. Jain’s office and she showed me some brochures while explaining to me some of the things they do at Kayakalp. I was surprised to hear that she personally had received my resume months ago, before I arrived when I was sure that I would be interning at Kayakalp. Apparently, the administration was not very receptive to somebody coming in and trying to change their practices. Of course that’s not necessarily what I was going to do, it was just the impression they had of Americans coming in. We have the tendency of kicking down the door of foreign countries and telling them how they should do things better. But that’s another blog. Yet even Dr. Jain expressed her concern that the nutrition methods used at the clinic could be very responsive to outside influence and needed some updating to reflect new foods and diets introduced by globalization. I guess that’s just going to have to be somebody else’s job.

For the last few minutes, I was given a short tour of the main facility by one of the yoga instructors, whom I think was also a doctor, but I couldn’t be sure. She was about 4 foot nothing and talked a mile a minute. Even though her English was perfect, it was hard to follow, like a chipmunk on helium and crack. I walked around to the various naturopathic rooms, which were essentially rooms designed to accommodate various spa treatments. There were the standard massage tables and steam rooms, but a few of them held some very strange equipment. Deluxe massage baths that required the patient to be strapped it… an enclosed “steam chair” that allowed a patient’s head to stick out of the box where the rest of their body was being assaulted by moist heat… oh, and the colon cleansing room. It’s like an enema, except it uses 25 liters. In your butt. After awhile, I wasn’t sure if I hadn’t accidentally gone to Guantanamo Bay.

After narrowly escaping the water boarding room (just kidding… I think), Mrs. Singh and I left to visit one of her friends, and that was my visit to Kayakalp. All this waiting and anticipation, but I was able to get a thorough tour of the place in 10 minutes. It’s not a bad place at all, and I’m not saying that an internship there would have been worthless. I’m just glad that I found some stuff to do at KLB, because that has been a very rewarding experience, and I don’t regret working there instead of Kayakalp. But hey, at least now I will be able to recommend a place that does great colon work. In case you’re interested.